The moment I knew…
My mom has younger onset Alzheimer’s. She is only 70 and is
at the end stage of this terrible disease.
My family has a history of Alzheimer’s; both my grandmother
(my Mom’s Mom) and my Great Uncle (Grandma’s Brother) were afflicted by this
disease. I was in my teens when my Grandmother passed, so I have some memories
of her struggles, although vague. My Mom was always worried that she too would
fall victim to this silent assailant. I too, worried for my Mom. I don’t know
why, but I just always had a ‘feeling’…
My mom was a professional. She was a Project Manager for a
large Aerospace company in Seattle. She planned to work until she was 68, so
when she abruptly quit her job in the fall of 2007, right before her 63rd
birthday, I knew…
From that moment on, I was on a quest to get her help and
find answers. The timeline of the progression of her disease is emblazed in my
brain, as I too was experiencing life changing events… the birth of my two
children.
In October of 2007, I found out I was pregnant with my
daughter. There was nothing more in the world that my mom wanted, than to be a
grandmother. Fast forward to May of 2008. At 32 weeks pregnant, my pregnancy took
a scary turn. I was abruptly put in the hospital for monitoring and a potential
delivery of a pre-term baby. My mom saw me in the hospital on a Saturday and by
Sunday, didn’t remember I had to stay in the hospital, I knew…
At that point, I started to push harder on her to talk with her
doctor about her memory loss and confusion. She said she did, and her doctor
performed the ‘in office’ memory tests. Her doctor said she was ‘fine’… it was
probably depression and anxiety. My mom is a widower you see and well,
sometimes people have a hard time transitioning into retirement. Ok, ok I
thought, “maybe”, but I knew…
Easter of 2009, my daughter is now 10 months. I called my
mom on a Thursday afternoon and told her we were planning to host a casual
Easter brunch on Sunday and we wanted her to come. Two hours later she showed
up at my house, I knew…
Of course there were more signs, some subtle, some not so subtle.
My mom was an amazing seamstress. She could create her own
patterns from a computer program and sew very intricate projects. She loved
making things for her granddaughter. Blankets, burp clothes, stuffed animals,
among other things. Then it happened, she showed up with a stuffed dog that she
had made and the legs were misplaced, I
knew…
I kept pushing, I kept asking. The response was always the
same ‘I’m fine, my doctor said I’m fine’. More things kept ‘happening’. This isn’t
right, I know it isn’t right. I knew...
In 2010 I told mom I wanted to go with to her doctor.
Together, we met with her doctor. Once again, the 'in office' memory tests were
performed. Her doctor told us ‘she was fine, her mistakes were age appropriate’.
I said NO, she is NOT fine, she is intelligent. I shared a handful of examples
and demanded a neurology referral. This experience
was very hard. I had to share heart wrenching examples in front of my Mom. I can’t begin to imagine how difficult this must
have been for her to hear. She must have felt scared and invisible.
In the spring of 2010 we saw the neurologist. At this time,
I was 7 months pregnant with my Son. By the time we left his office, he told us
he was certain it was what we feared. ALZHEIMER’s. He ordered a CT scan and
other tests to ‘rule out’ any other causes, but I knew…
From that point on, we have been on a journey that has
tested our faith and strength. In four
years’ time, my mom went from living in her own home to hospice care. She spent
the last 3 ½ years in assisted living, memory care and now an adult family
home.
Somehow, I knew. I
think we both knew. What I also know is you have to be an advocate for your
loved one. You know them best, you KNOW if there is something wrong. Fight for
them
!
posted by De Novo at 3:24 PM
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